Simple scripts and calm strategies for parents
If your child cries, hides, or panics when they hear the word “dentist,” you’re not alone.
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Dental anxiety is very common in children and can show up as tears, tummy aches, clinginess, or refusing to sit in the chair.
The goal isn’t to “toughen them up”, it’s to help them feel safe, prepared, and in control. At City Orthodontics & Pediatric Dentistry, we work with nervous kids every day. Here’s a guide you can use at home to make the next visit smoother.
1. What Not to Say (Even If You Mean Well)
Some common “reassuring” phrases can actually make kids more anxious.
“It won’t hurt.”
Kids hear: “Wait… there’s something that might hurt?”
Instead, try:
“The dentist’s job is to keep your teeth healthy and comfy. If anything feels weird, you can raise your hand and we’ll take a break.”
“If you don’t behave, the dentist will give you a needle / pull your teeth.”
Using the dentist as a “threat” links dental care with punishment, which can build long-term fear.
Instead, try:
“The dentist is on your team, they’re here to help your teeth stay strong so you can eat, talk, and smile easily.”
Over-sharing your own bad experiences
If you talk a lot about painful visits or how much you hate going, kids pick up on that.
Instead, try:
“When I go to the dentist, I like how clean my teeth feel afterwards.”
Keep the focus on positive, calm messages.
2. Simple Scripts Parents Can Use
Here are easy, word-for-word phrases you can use the day before and on the way to the appointment.
Before the visit (the day before)
“Tomorrow we’re going to see the kids’ dentist. Their job is to count your teeth, clean them, and make sure they’re strong and healthy.”
“You can ask any questions you want. If you feel nervous, you can hold my hand or your stuffy.”
On the way to the appointment
“It’s okay to feel a bit nervous. Lots of kids feel that way. We’ll meet the dentist, they’ll tell you what they’re doing, and we’ll take it one step at a time.”
“Your job is to keep your mouth open like a lion showing their teeth. My job is to stay with you and help you feel safe.”
In the waiting room
“Let’s look for all the things that show this is a kids’ office. What do you see that’s just for children?” (to shift focus to fun decor, toys, TVs, etc.)
“If you want a break, you can squeeze my hand or raise your hand. That’s our signal.”
Pediatric Dentists often recommend giving kids a “signal” so they feel more in control.
3. How to Describe the Visit (Without Scaring Them)
Kids do better when they know what to expect, but they don’t need all the medical details.
Use simple, non-scary language
- “Chair that goes up and down like a ride”
- “Tiny mirror to look at your teeth”
- “Tooth counter” instead of “sharp tool”
- “Tooth cleaner” instead of “scraper”
Avoid:
- “Needle”
- “Shot”
- “Drill”
- “Rip / pull teeth out”
Pediatric dentistry experts encourage using positive, child-friendly words and letting the dental team explain tools in kid-appropriate ways.
4. How to Prep a Nervous Child Before the Appointment
1. Play “dentist” at home
- Let your child be the dentist and you be the patient
- Use a toothbrush and a mirror
- Count each other’s teeth
- Swap roles
2. Watch a kid-friendly video or book about the dentist
Short, positive stories or cartoons showing smiling kids at the dentist help normalize the experience.
Look for:
- Characters who are a little nervous at first, but end up okay
- Bright, friendly clinic scenes
- Short, simple explanations
3. Practice calm breathing together
Show your child how to:
- Breathe in slowly through the nose for 3 seconds
- Breathe out through the mouth for 4 seconds
- Repeat a few times
You can say:
“If you feel worried in the chair, try our slow-breathing trick. I’ll do it with you.”
4. Bring comfort items
Most pediatric dentists welcome:
- A favourite stuffed animal
- A small blanket
- Headphones with calm music (if appropriate)
This can help children feel more secure in a new environment.
After the Visit: Celebrate the Bravery, Not “Perfect Behaviour”
Even if there were tears or tricky moments, focus on what went well.
You might say:
“You were really brave to sit in the chair even when you felt scared.”
“I’m proud of you for opening your mouth when the dentist asked.”
Small rewards can help:
- Sticker chart
- Extra bedtime story
- Special playtime, not just sugary treats
6. When Fear Is Very Strong
Sometimes, even with good prep, a child may be so anxious that:
- They refuse to get in the chair
- They scream or try to run
- They’ve had a previous traumatic experience
In those cases:
- Let us know about your child’s fears when you book
- Ask about slower, “get to know the office” visits
- Ask if options like tell-show-do, shorter appointments, or, in more severe cases, sedation options are appropriate
A pediatric dental team (like ours at City Orthodontics & Pediatric Dentistry) is specially trained to help children work through dental fear during each visit.
You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
If your child is afraid of the dentist, it doesn’t mean you’ve done anything wrong, it just means they need a bit more time, patience, and support.
At City Orthodontics & Pediatric Dentistry, we help families across Edmonton and Spruce Grove:
- Gently introduce nervous kids to the dental office
- Use kid-friendly language and calm techniques
- Work at your child’s pace
- Turn “I’m scared” into “That wasn’t so bad!”
📞 Call our Edmonton or Spruce Grove office
💻 Request a pediatric visit online
Tell us your child is nervous when you book, we’ll take extra steps to make their visit as smooth and reassuring as possible.
